'An empty room can be so deafening
The silence makes you wanna scream
♥ Hey yo! This is Dorina here. Currently 19 years old this year. Birthday falls on 27 December 1991. Studying Business Administration course in College East. I treasure family & mates more than anything else. Music and Novels are my definite all time favourites. Always in the heart,In Loving Memories, Ku Witaya & Sia Chan Hong. ♥
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Saturday, August 30, 2008, 11:39 PM
Happy Birthday DING EN korkor!
Death Race.
Baybeats.
Makansutra.
Korkor & mates.
home sweet home.
Death Race.
Baybeats.
Makansutra.
Korkor & mates.
home sweet home.
I love ya my dearest boys.
Thursday, August 28, 2008, 10:38 PM
My 223th post!Aight, 23 reminds me of something.
Today was a...should i say... bad day?
Cos, i was feeling super duper awful this morning.
Vomitted twice and my mates bought me waffle with milo!
Thanks girls! (L)
Make up lesson was like shitzxz, cos i only managed to apply mascara and eyeliner.
But i did try to apply eyeshadow! Just didnt blend it pretty well ;(
(its my first time okayzxz!)
And my eye brow, i gotta work hard to practice though. (need to continue youtub-ing!!)
Mdm Siti understands my situation and she allowed me to copy answers from the textbook today. Teeheehehee. But i think i'll fail too cos, i anyhow copy? :/
Teacher's day celebration.
(!) Suddenly felt nostalgic, but lucky i didnt show anything out.
Anywayzxz, after school went to bugis to watch movie.
(I wanted to go home and emo, then carol kept tempting me! ;p)
I randomly chose Kallang Roar.
Aight, the movie was still alright.
Way better than 12 Lotus okay!
Somehow the flick, was kinda..touching too?
;D
Done with movie, we met Yixiang then take neoprints.
(this space is reserved for yixiang cos i havent get her picture yet. :/)
Formal shot was so-not-nice!
;(
Randommmmm(!)
(Last Friday's)
Candid(!)
(Last saturday's)
Thank you Huda!
Your words this morning was really nice and comforting.
Thanks! :D
No school tomorrow!
;D
Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 9:20 PM
Thank you Jinan!Ya accompanied me on the phone for like 2 hours plus.
Thanks man!
Anyway, breakfast alone at BK this morning was cool.
Alot of things running through my mind again.
Those memories, those images, the vivid ones.
One by one, playing through again and again like a slideshow.
Yes, i havent find the strong self yet.
Jinan, sorry to make ya hear me cry.
Cos i know the truth & the truth is pretty much cruel.
But i've promised so...yeah.
Anyway, i know ya all up above are happily playing dota and continue to be the slayers. Way to go dudezxz! (:
Anyway, thank you to those people who cared/tagged.
Gabriel: I must say ya people are really interesting.
I seriously dont know how come ya peepz can find my blog. Dang...
Anyway, i wont leak a single thing here.
By painting an accurate picture,what do ya gain?
Dont ya think that the media peepz like ya, should leave them alone?
They're already DEAD.
Not coming back anymore.
Thank you on their behalf, the case is CLOSED.
Get it dude?
Celia was like '' Do you know that you're featured in the papers? ''
Binxiang was like '' Hey counsellor, i saw your name in the papers. ''
=.=
I am impressed.
Thank you, Andres.
Thank you,Connie.
Thank you,Sab.
Thank you,Huishan.
Thank you,Carol.
Thank you,Yi Xiang.
Thank you, JI NAN.
I've a sudden urge to have coffee club's raspberry cake!
:(
HOWWWWWWW!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 7:37 PM
I couldnt help myself from crying again today.It was so tempting, just because, those rituals and the cremations.
It was really hurtful.
Imagine,i've to attend 2 funerals, 2 wakes, 2 cremations.
One day after another.
No matter how strong i was before, i know i would breakdown as well.
Yes, yet again i couldnt get to sleep.
I prepared pretty early and i walked to Fiona's place again.
On the way there, i almost got knock down by the Subaru car approaching.
Damn, lucky he slowed down and didnt knock me down.
If not, i would have to join witaya and chanhong already.
(thank God!)
Cabbed down to Witaya's place pretty early too.
Chat with other mates for awhile and suddenly TPSS brought 2 buses again.
This time is the NA classes.
I saw Micheal Toh! I saw Mrs Seah! I saw Fathu!
Ytd,when i walked past Witaya's coffin, looking at him looking so peaceful.
I talked to him through heart. I hope he hears me clearly.
Well, i promised him i wont cry when the chu bing starts.
Yes i did,i controlled till i saw his coffin move to the van, there i go again.
I cried again. Yes, i cant help myself too.
Mrs Seah came by gave connie and i a hug and asked us to stay strong.
Yes, i did try, but yet again, i failed to do so.
Reached the temple again,watched the coffin being pushed in.
I shouted''why must it be ya?''
Did ya hear me?
Looking at your pictures, i dont know what else to do but to cry.
I still cant accept the fact that i lost ya both at the same time.
I still....
I know everything is over, nothing is gonna bring ya peepz back to me.
Afterall, the scar will be with me till the day i die.
Witaya & Chanhong,
Dont worry, next year onwards.
I'll be with Sinling, to visit ya both infront of your niches.
Muchlove.
Tag replies:
Thank you everybody for all your tags/care.
Special thanks to: Andres,Connie,Sabrina,Yixiang,Nick,Elden,Weilun,JessicaJIE,Don,SP.
Andres, Yixiang & Sab: All the strength i've needed. THANKYOU.
Nick,dont worry. I'm still running with ya.
:)
I'll try to get myself back.
I need to be strong,not for myself but for the both of them.
JIAYOU!
XoXo.
Took this from Witaya's friendster.
Now ya can no longer log in anymore.
:(
Ya always give me the biggest suprise.
Thankyou,love.
Monday, August 25, 2008, 8:51 PM
Whole night didnt sleep again.Its been 2 nights.
Left the house pretty early and walked to Fiona's place to wait for her.
Took a cab down to see chan hong for one last time.
Walked twice again beside ya today.
Do ya know? Haiz.
Cried my heart out today again.
Thanks Connie for the very long hug & im sorry i stained your shirt with all my tears.
:(
After all the ritual and stuff jying,mark,valerie & jiahao pushed the van and all of us walked out.
Many of us cry again and and again.
Reporters are there to snap again.(Yes,AGAIN!)
Today alot people didnt go school. (tpss)
DM and some teachers brought those Sec 4's to the funeral parlour and, let them send him off.
We all attend his ritual and his cremation.
Haiz,my heart teared again when i saw the coffin being pushed in.
Chanhong ah chanhong, i know the burning process it hurts.
But i just really hope you're fine.
JIEJIE really miss ya.
Haizzzzz.
When i saw your coffin being pushed in, in my heart,i kept shouting for ya.
Did ya hear me? Did ya? I hope ya did as im really eager to talk to ya.
Let me know how ya are doing in my dreams okay?
On the way back to Eunos, my mind was filled with all your images.
Yes i know, everyone told me to cheer up and not to cry anymore.
But i couldnt contain it anymore,whenever i just close my eyes for a few seconds,my mind will be filled with all our memories,all our happier times.
I wanna be all hyper again, i wanna be like the past.
We were all the happy & notorious kids in the school.
And now, ya have left us for a better place.
I really cant bear to let ya go ..
Haiz, dont worry Chanhong, JIEJIE will every year go talk to ya with our clique okay?
Remember Coffee Club's raspberry cake?
Remember Bubble tea?
I will never leave them out the list.
Sigh, tomorrow is another day i have to cry my heart out.
Witaya, jiejie gonna see ya tml for one last time again.
When i talk to ya, i know ya will be smiling at me.
Love ya!
I'll never forget how lovable they were.
I'll never forget how Witaya everytime smack my head so hardly.
(I wish ya could do it all over again.)
I'll never forget how Chanhong everytime shout Doraemon.
I'll never forget how the both of them everytime cheer me up.
I'll never forget all the prank calls ya peepz pranked on me.
I'll never forget how both of ya protect huiting and i on our OCH trip.
I'll never forget how we used to crap and give advice to help out each other.
I'll never forget how Witaya changed after i told him to study hard.
I'll never forget how Chanhong always use his happy-go-lucky attitude to make me laugh.
(Shang xin yi tian,zai ku yi tian, da bu ru,xiao xi xi mei yi tian,That's what ya always tell people right chanhong?)
I'll never forget how both of ya broke your promise.
(I know ya both didnt want to right? Tell me its not on purpose)
We always make ourselves so silly.
Those were the good old times.
One Last Time.
One Last Look.
One Last Path.
12:36 AM
Whenever i shut my eyes,i'll think of them.Yes, most probably its been the most biggest news in tpss.
I know there's no point crying over it.
But for all i know, i cannot control it anymore.
Today i went to visit chanhong in the evening, saw him for the one last time and i told myself i cannot drop a single tear. i want to be strong. as strong as before, nothing's gonna make me sad. that's what i told myself.
But sadly,i failed to do so.
When i walked beside his body, i immediately cried my heart out.
I cried hard, real hard.
Like nobody's busines,like nobody's around.
My sweet lil mates gave me warm hugs trying to stop me from crying but instead i've been using up all the tissues paper i have.
I cant seem to get to sleep, i've been crying all night and yet now, im still tearing.
I know i have to stop,but i still cant accept the fact that both of them are gone, gone to a better place i hope.
I still cant accept the fact that ya, chanhong, broke your promise.
Ya promise me that we were supposed to be out on a date with other mates after your major exams. Ya promised!
&, now what? Torturing me to accept the fact that you're gone?
Chan hong ah chan hong, i really hope that ya are in a better and much more beautiful place. I really wanna know how you're doing right now. Give me good news &, i shall try to stop crying okay? Come to my dream, i wont mind anyway. At least i know you're fine up there.
I shall see ya at 8am tomorrow for one last time.
You'll always be part of my memories, 23/08/08.
Miss ya MOUSEY!
Sunday, August 24, 2008, 12:42 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINAN.though i know ya wont be happy at all.
On 23 August 2008,
i've lost two really good mates.
They're the people i will dearly miss.
Your vague images will always be in my mind.
How i wish all these were jokes.
Jokes that ya peepz used to joke bout your songka(s) (funeral).
I cant believe i lost ya both at the same time.
I received the news from Huiting at 8.09pm.
I've really lost them this time,they're not coming back to me anymore.
They're not gonna cheer me up like they used to, they're not gonna take care of me like they used to,
the bottom line is, they're gone.
Gone to a far away place,that only angels can see them and take care of them.
How i wish i could be one of the angel.
I wanna continue to take care of ya peepz like i used to during all the good times.
WitayaDIDI, I remembered how i got to know ya. I was in secondary 2 when you're in secondary 1. You were such a suave looking but yet loveable kid who loves playing basketball. I remember that ya always give me a pat on my head to remind me that i am short and at the same time,that's the way ya say hello to me. I rememeber that whenever ya got basketball match, i will always be there to wish ya luck, or sometimes, i would be there to cheer on. I still rememeber whenever ya team lost, ya will always never give up, ya will give your best.
I still rememeber how ya fight for Rui Sui. I was there to cheer ya on too. I still rememeber we always slack,drink, smoke together with Sam and co. But all stopped ever since N levels. We were all busy with our own lives. We always mentioned of meet up(s), but yet, none of us could make it. Although we only know each other for only 3 yrs plus and yet we were so close. Every yr, ya wont forget my birthday. Ya would call me and say happy birthday or at least a short text.
I still rememeber, in year 2006, decemeber, i went for my spine operation.
Ya knew bout it, ya was busy working at KFC with jiahao.
But ya make it an effort after work to come visit me before my operation.
We joke bout all stupid stuff we could joke bout and got scolding from the staff working in the ward.
I rememeber how ya and jiahao were laughing bout those wires connected all over my head and my body. I was super awful then. Ya didnt mind the distance and the cab fare ya had to pay for.
After visting hours were over,ya had to leave with jinan,jiahao and sinling. Ya even managed to text me and tell me not to be scared and be brave. I listened, i did.
I remembered that how I always tell ya that, i want your deep deep dimples so much.
They were so beautiful & DEEP.
March 2008, i went back to tpss to collect my stuff. I bumped into ya at the traffic light. Ya told me ya missed me and ya told me to wait for ya in ITE. That we would meet again.
And now, i still cannot accept the fact that you're gone forever. I still cannot believe that i wont see ya again. I still cant believe that we cant slack,drink & smoke together again.
I just want ya to know that,all the vague memories & images will always be etched in my heart and mind. And never be erased. It will always linger on. I promise ya that.
MUCHLOVE,
&, Rest In Peace my mate.
CHAN HONG DIDI, I still rememeber whenever i see ya, i would always shout, MOUSEY!
That's the nick name ya got from me. Ya were so cute then. I still rememeber last yr, i was in the tuition class with mr owyong and i had to stay back till late then.
Ya will always come teach me maths, to help me go home early. Ya were such a genius in maths. I still rememeber i always called ya that too. Ya didnt complained of helping me out. I still rememeber ya would always talk to me bout how fiona this and that, i would always give ya advices and have fun together.
I still rememeber we always had fun together like jokes and bubble tea times. I still rememeber when i was in the hospital,i was always vomiting and not having proper meals and ya will always persuade me to heal faster and we could have fun together faster. I heed your advice, and started having proper meals in the hospital though i didnt like it very much. I rememeber how excited i was to inform ya that i could walk again, and ya congratualated me. I was elated.
We talked bout how much we could meet and crap together again right after i was healed. In yr 2007, ya gave me a warm welcome back to tpss on jan 02. Just recently,i went back to tpss to collect my testimonial, i happened to walked past your class while ya waiting for your infocus class. I was talking to mrs vai and ya popped in and chat too. Mrs vai was shocked that we were so close like brothers. She even joked that we were couple or something.
2008 june summer, we met up finally, the last pit stop, we were having fun at coffee club, our favourite place of slacking. I still rememeber how much ya cared for me when i said, my stomach was giving me lots of problems. I didnt like the raspberry cake we ordered and ya persuaded me to try it out. In the end, i liked it every much. From then on, whenever i see coffee club's raspberry cake and i will always think bout ya. And now, i cannot share with ya anymore.
Remember the so called levis watch ya wore? It cost only 5bucks and yet ya fooled me till it was so funny that we almost puke the cake and food we ate.
Before we head for home, we even agreed to meet up again after your O levels.
And now? What happened? I wont be seeing ya again. I cant joke,slack,drink,have nice tasty cakes together anymore. I miss ya MOUSEY.
Do take care of yourself up there and i hope you're fine up there.
REST IN PEACE my mate.
I miss ya MOUSEY.
I miss ya PAPAYA.(witaya)
Words cannot describe how im feeling right now.
Calls after calls, texts after texts.
All the same questions running through my mind, why is all this happening?
Why must it be the both of ya loveable kids?
This is the worst task i have to overcome in my entire life.
I really do hope to meet again in our next lifes.
Every 23/08 will be something added into my calendar.
23/08/08 is something i will never forget.
Bout the 8.09pm call.
XoXo,
DorinaJIEJIE.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 9:17 PM
Dismissed at 11am today.
Super duper early luh.
Went to have lunch at Cafe 1 & I saw HubertSOTONG!
Wakaka ;p
Went to watch 12 Lotus with QiuJin,Li Hong,Sab,Connie & Elden.
Woooooo, the movie was boring to the max.
Kept talking to sab and qj.
Teeheehee.
I've found another primary school mate!
Happy uh. ;)
And I suddenly feel like changing my url. (?)
& ......
tml there's graduation photo taking!
:(
this means we're departing..Sigh.
Time flies. Utterly nostalgic.
I miss my first 2008 summer.
x(
We slide through half the door.
Without exchanging whispers between.
Super duper early luh.
Went to have lunch at Cafe 1 & I saw HubertSOTONG!
Wakaka ;p
Went to watch 12 Lotus with QiuJin,Li Hong,Sab,Connie & Elden.
Woooooo, the movie was boring to the max.
Kept talking to sab and qj.
Teeheehee.
I've found another primary school mate!
Happy uh. ;)
And I suddenly feel like changing my url. (?)
& ......
tml there's graduation photo taking!
:(
this means we're departing..Sigh.
Time flies. Utterly nostalgic.
I miss my first 2008 summer.
x(
We slide through half the door.
Without exchanging whispers between.
Monday, August 18, 2008, 8:53 PM
Tag replies:korkor: Kor! no worries,im okay.Will take with ya another time okay? Love.
ariel: Aight.
L-den: Will update alrdy. Ya always remind me. Lol! ;D
Hubert: Dude. I tagged ya alrdy,I got a scolding instead. :(
nick: Soooooooon aight? (:
Super over due post.
Right, I know that i've somehow neglected this blog here.
So right now im here to update.
Nick see here uh! (dont later complain I never update.Lol!)
I dont think im gonna type much here as im pretty tired.
I'll update soon aight? ;D
Love.
How do you expect things to get any better
when you keep me on the sidelines.
:(